Wednesday, April 8, 2015

To go to a studio? Old men use the studios. Get with the times grampa.

There are so many people out there that feel that in order to get a good sound they need to spend $400 a day at a studio.  Really the sound you get is a conformed sound that propagates an old way of thinking about music... A polished recording is not the natural progression of where music recording is going... if left to its own devices music would be recorded at home.

So... Old men use the studios. Get with the times grampa.

DAWs are so simple today that literally anyone can use them. Mic techniques are something you can learn from a book at the library. if one cares enough about ones craft, it's worth checking into. And as for space. Well couldn't you just rent a practice space or go to ur buddies or mom's house. Any one who cares enough could figure that out. Besides, rock music is so easy to record especially now it's a joke. Now if your recording a string quartet, yeah probably gotta goto the studio.

"But but... I don't want my sound to be lofi :(:("

I think that's a major misconception about recording at home: Lofi recordings. It's not 1995 anymore. Home recordings don't have to be Lofi.  If u spend the money you'd spend on recording at a studio on a decent DAW, mic and book you can make something just as hi fi. Plus you would have equity. If your shit doesn't pan out, sell your equipment.  Can't sell studio time.

Basically by going to a studio you are "supporting an antiquated system," which causes the natural progression of music to remain stagnant.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Award Shows

This is something I need to say.  Award shows really hinder the creation of pure, down to your inner core, art. Award shows are completely biased and based on popularity and rules set in place by the people who organizes the awards. To strive to win an award you must conform to a certain aesthetic, which could be real... But in all actuality are not really true. When you distill it down, you get a music version of a Dog Show.  Ridiculously dressed people parading around like they're never going to do.  Everything must be groomed in a certain way, sound a certain way, be accessible to a certain group of people, etc... This really isn't what Art, proper, is. Art is a visual/musical reflection of the individual creating it. and if you attempt to conform to these certain set of guide lines someone else set; if you strive to win an award, chances are you need some sort of therapy or are just hungry for acknowledgement.  Either way you're fucked or an asshole.  Winning a contest really is just about getting acknowledged... And that boils down to a lack of self actualization. If one is truly confident in their art and themselves they do no need to enter and win.

So quit being a baby and whining about not winning an award or about how you want someone to write about it.  Make what you want and don't send it to me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Sam Cohen - Cool It (the back handed review)

I started to download this album before listening to the stream... As soon as i started listening to the stream I stopped downloading. This album is like Watching Phil Collins watching somebody drown.  It makes you feel sad and really weird.

Hey... Let me ask you, Sam... You really like 70s rock and roll, huh?  Listening to this album made me think of "That 70s Show" and I really hate that show.  So, I say to you, Mr. Sam... I hate you and all that you stand for...  I kind get the feeling that this guy is a vintage equipment hoarder.  Hey! Spend your money on something worth while! Dick! SAWWY

This is a really great album... Unfortunately it's a rip off of every 70s band you can imagine.  Well, let me put it another way.  Think of all the songs that Wes Anderson used in his movies.  Combine them all together, taking out the scores, and you have this album.  If that's your thing.  You might like this album.  Hopefully that is not your think

Pretty Lights sounds like angels whispering angelic songs into your ear.  It also actually sounds identical to an Electric Prunes song--can't remember the name and I'm not looking it up. Deal with it.  Man, Lou Reed was an inspiration to Mr. Sam.  We got some late Velvet underground on here...  Oh boy, a lot of Velvet Underground  As well Rollingstones, LOVE, nico, and some Spirit.  It's a pure Psych rock album. Which is kind of surprising.  I don't think I've heard anything in this vein in along time. (Besides every band existing since 2009) With the music-sphere saturated with dance and electronic acts Mr. Sam breaks through the wall of dismay and dancing idiots with a psych rock album that actually commits to psych rock and not really ironically, either.  That's pretty dope, if it was done in 2005. You should buy the album, but not really. Buying any music is a waste of time and money.

Monday, March 16, 2015


Today's post is really about nothing.  I really didn't feel like listening to any of the music. OK? OK? Is that OK with you? I'm just here to declare a confession... Well reluctantly declare a confession.  I get questions about this all the time.  So, I admit it. My blog name was inspired by Bender from Futurama OK? Look it up. Deal with it. The name is cool.

Like I said this week really has nothing to do with anything.  Well, SXSW actually... So perhaps I'll share my opinions about that.  SXSW sucks. OK? Most of these 'indie' festivals have gotten so huge they are out of control.  SXSW is a blight on the music scene that needs to be eradicated with pure radiation and fire.  I don't care for SXSW much.  To some it's the holy grail of festivals.  "omg, i'm playing(or going) to SXSW."  And I don't get it.  You get clumped together with a bunch of other crappy bands (and people)...  I guess to most bands it's just the thought of possibly being "discovered" by a label... But in reality... the chances of getting "discovered" are slim to none NOW.  Maybe back in the day.  But now? Give me a break.  And if you are discovered...  it's most likely by some indie label that gives you a terrible deal in exchange for promotion.  What's the point?  Most indie labels promotion techniques are terrible and so very ineffective.  The only way to get known that was is to know someone.  I get thousands of mass, generated emails from labels and PR people begging for reviews from blogs and magazines.  I'm just a small blog that no one pays attention to... for good reason too. Fuck you.  I still get thousands of emails.  I pick one to write about.  A tick in Google's search results.  Some review sites, which are in better standing with the music community, have more pull, of course and I hate them too.  Maybe you'll get on Pitchfork and get a good review--it's not going to help you that much... You think it would... But one review won't do shit for you or your shitty band.  You might sell a few hundred albums? But you think you're going to survive off that?  Get a real job hippy.

So back to SXSW... the BEST outcome leads to a review on Pitchfork or in SPIN or RollingStone which then leads you to sell a few cds or records or tapes.  That's a great start... But it's no guarantee that you are going to make it.  Have you actually read Pitchfork?  They promote some really terrible bands.  Solution?  Just tour, dummy.  and if you're any good. Well if people like you, I wont, but if idiots like your crappy band... You'll sell more albums on the road than you ever will on a small indie label website.  In addition, if you're on a indie label, some of that money might have to go back to them... really for nothing.  Sending out a few PR emails?  Indie labels are jokes.  So, why even bother joining a label? Well there is no reason.  Do the PR yourself.  Make your self known.  And the only way to do that... is... to... tour.  You might be saying to yourself... "Well, isn't SXSW just another way to get exposure?"  No! SXSW is a corporate shit fest now.  Sure a few people will see you, but they saturate the festival with so many bands, people wont even remember your stupid name.  SXSW is no longer in the propagation-of-music game anymore  Just to make money. In 2012 the fest generated $167 million IN LOCAL BUSINESS ALONE!  Imagine what Pepsi, McDonalds, Prevail Diapers for Adults, etc... make by sponsoring the fest?  So, don't get caught up in shit fests like SXSW.  You are only perpetuating the downfall of music.  It's really just all about SXSW and not the music or films.
Just fucking tour without a label.  Get a shitty van, quit your shitty job, dump your shitty girlfriend and fucking tour.  I mean if the shitty garage rock band White Mystery can do it. You can too.  And from what I've gathered they are making a decent impact.  They are getting known and making ends meet and doing what they love.  It might sound like I'm promoting the propagation of shitty music.  I'm not... I hope your van breaks down.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Interview with an idiot

Had some fun times on facebook the today.  I just had to post it.  I posted an speculative article about if they took the bonuses given on Wall Street to the US gov they could increase minimum wage to $15.  Here is the article  Hilarity ensued when a nut case responded.  The thread follows:

The names have been changed to protect the ignorant:

Guy: Thats the democrates remember obamas speech ? (i am for main sreet not wall street) how did that work out?

Guy: they talk a good show but ?

Mexican Robots: R*****d, you're a funny guy :)Can't spell democrat without the "Rat?" Am I right? Am I right??? Oh, but the unemployment rate is the lowest since 2009. Actually Mid-2008. Obama care has saved millions of people. So perhaps it did work out pretty well? Don't you say?

Guy: no because the unemployment rate is fake fuzzie math it is actualy down all most 2 milloin jobs this year foer the pepole who droped out think about it if it was so good why do the food stamp keep risine because all they have created is hamburger flipin jobs. and obama care is the biggest joke you took pepole with no insurance some needed it but olt just did not want it till now and made pepole how did the right tjing all there life suffer for it they lost there ins now the can not aford it and are not intitled to free ins the whole thing is a joke you will see as more pepole become dependit on gov just what the dems want THE MORE THEY DO FOR YOU THE MORE THE FREEDOM THEY WILL TAKE


MR: Okay, before we get into how insane you sound. When you say “fake fuzzie math,” what exactly do you mean? One means absolutely false, the other implies uncertainty. Ok, now we are through that. I’d like to ask… Where are you getting your information regarding the 2 “milloin,” assuming you mean million, people losing their jobs this year? I would LOVE to see that. And if food stamps are in fact rising, it’s because people don’t have any disposable income… Since they are working… wait for it…. Wait for it… Low-pay minimum wage jobs! Next, insurance is important for EVERYONE. If I understand your response… I’m sorry I don’t speak Drunk… But if you choose not to have insurance, then you are seriously damaged, especially with how much just a simple hospital visit costs. Why would you NOT want health insurance? But if you were, one of these “pepole,” as you so eloquently put it, you can file for a health coverage exemption. And lastly, to respond to your second comment, what sort of pipe did you take to the dome to write such a mind blowing, racist statement? I’m curious what sort of freedoms were taken away from you that you’d have to write that?

MR: It's easy to just say things, Richard. Do you have any actual evidence to back any of this stuff up?

Guy: first off if you think things are better you are a fool or it is better for you ! because medium income is down 7,000,00 a years for the past 6 years. pepolehave lost 50% ot there wealth and i am talking the avg person. funnie math means when you drop out of the work force because you can not find a job such as unemplyment ran out you are not counted no more if you are like me who retired you are not counted it is very simple numbers from gov all ways lie to make things look better but sosial services keep growing meaning it is not that good or pepole are lazy which is it ? and as far as freedoms goes you must buy health insurace or be find , freedom of speach if it is not corect to your dem gov you will be punished such as lose your buisness ! nures most help in abortions you can not say a prayer any where unless you are muslim ! there is many mose so if you think it is good i know ity is not, iretired at 48 to not have to do obamas laws and i have made more money now then i ever did just buy watching and listning to there lies and doing the upsit of what they say that main street speach made me go to wall street and made a killing ! and alls obama care did for me was make me lay off 17 pepole so i would not have to be involes

Guy: look up work force pertiapation numbers

Guy: [Attempts to post the entire contents of an very large article.  Here is the link:]

MR: I feel like your arguments are jumping all over the place. *sigh* The article you cited is not from a reputable news source. I don’t trust websites that try to open malware on my computer. Perhaps you should check this out it explains Work Force Participation in pretty simple language: Matthew Phillips is a reputable writer, he’s worked for the Wall Street Journal covering, get this… the great recession.

MR: First off, whether things are better is not contingent upon whether they have improved for the person making an argument. Facts are not subjective.

MR: People have lost much of their wealth, which is due to the recession - triggered by events in the mid-2000s - and not due to the "dems". This wealth has flowed to the pockets of bankers and the heads of large corporations, an issue with which you seem to be absolutely content. The President implemented the Financial Stability Oversight Council and Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to prevent the type of predatory financial practices that led to the recession in the first place. However, the nominees for these have been continually blocked and their effectiveness has been gutted.

Don't talk about wealth leaving the middle class unless you intend to mention the fact that the wealth gap we have today is the worst since the Gilded Age, and that seems to be the way your cronies in congress plan to keep it. 

And guess what? Democratic governors do not shut down businesses because of the political leanings of the owners. Perhaps that is what you would do, but it isn't in any way based on reality. 

As for prayer, you can say prayers anywhere you want to, but if you're doing it in an official capacity as a government employee you're violating the separation of church and state. Your personal beliefs are just that - personal. You don't get to impose them on people of different faiths simply because you feel entitled to. 

Now, do you have any empirical evidence to back your jumbled rant, or do we have to listen to more of your hysterical impromptu ravings?

Guy: it is a pointless argument you could not change a persons mind today i will keep a spot open for you guys on my 500 ace compound for when the shit catches up and it goming

MR: 500 acre (I assume you mean acre when you say “ace”) compound? Are you in the Michigan Militia or just a David Koresh wannabe? Let me let you in on a little secret… when you are in an argument there are several things that are important. First, you MUST be articulate. Second, you MUST present FACTS. And third, you never ever use the words “FUCK JEWS.”

End of the conversation.  


Guy: i do not belive in politcal correctness what we are talking about be for already a slave

MR: Ladies and gentleman: true nature is reveled

Guy: and that is ?

MR: 1. You are not correct... Politically. And well factually nether. And 2. you sir are a bigot. This discussion isn't pointless because you can't convince people, it's pointless because you don't do a good job arguing. You evidently would rather spew hate in ALL CAPS than spend your time informing yourself well enough to construct a coherent argument. Consequently, the discussion is now closed. You lost. Have a great day.

Guy: you dear sir have a tipicail Liberal Elitist attiud ment to dimener any with a diffrent view then you you lose i never lose so eat shit and die poog


Guy: bve ass hole !

MR: bvebve

Guy: you are a real moron !

And scene.