Thursday, February 26, 2015

Body Language - Really love (Video)

Ok, Let's get this straight.  I do not condone listening to Body Language.  They are terrible,  So don't take this review wrong.

I got an email today stating that Body Language just released a music video.  I thought to myself: "This should be easy.  Watch and Delete." But unfortunately their videos are even worse than their music.  It's bad, man. It's really bad.  The whole video is in slow motion.   Let me repeat that.  The whole, the entire thing, all of it is in slow motion.  If that's not a sign of a terrible director, not sure what is.

Unfortunately I should probably explain further.  The video is based on Alice in Wonderland, Oh boy how insightful Body Language is.  "Alice" journeys to "wonderland," which looks like a NIN video.  Oh Joy, another fresh and creative element (I thought Brooklyn was supposed to be on the cutting edge of music and art).  She travels, in slow motion, of course, through a "disturbing" (not really, just weird for the sake of being weird) dance party (is this supposed to represent the Tea Party?).  OK. One thing... What the fuck is the deal with videos attempting to be disturbing?  The writer is obviously a average/boring person and doesn't understand how to be disturbing.  Seriously, if you want to get a fucked up video, hire a fucked up person to write it.  Anyway, she goes through the party, meets up with the white rabbit who then proceeds to rape her.  My Bad, forgot to mention Spoiler Alert. Oh well, you're not missing much.

Oh I almost forgot! There is a random black lady, laying on a couch, that pops up periodically... For no reason, whatsoever.

Great job Body Language. You've successfully made a video that's actually worse than your music.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Felte records / Nite Fields - Depersonalisation

So, since that last review my electronic mail box has blown up with submissions.  Pretty much all crap.  The best are from labels like Felte Records.  "HEY MAN, REVIEW OUR SHIT."  Except, instead of actually doing what is expected of any reasonable PR person... or, rather, what a person with some sort of jelly-like substance in the brain cavity would do... they don't send the files!  Just a link to their band camp page.  Fuck you, Felte.  Fuck you.

I did listen to what they wanted me to review... on their stupid bandcamp page... Nite Fields - Depersonalisation.  Wow.  Hey guys...  Ok. Let me say this first:  If you want to write music from 2002... Do it in like 10 years.  Then at least it'll be a proper throw back/vintage and cool.  If you're into that kind of thing.  Rehashing crap music from early 2000s in 2015 is really bullshit.  Grow some fucking balls and write something that actually matters.  Anything is better than this.  Getting kicked in the balls 15 times would be better than listening to this idiotic excuse for a record.

Nite Fields has successfully written, recorded, and released the worst album ever.  And Felte has made it possible.  Great job Felte.  Propagating crap and writing stupid emails.

Leave me alone.

Going back to listening to this

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Howlin' Rain - Mansion Songs

When I was young I had a stuffed cat.  It used to be my favorite pet; it died; my parents stuffed it; slept with it every night till I was 23.  It eventually became infested with a nest of spiders. So i had to get rid of it.  Actually, I never had a cat, I never stuffed it, but this Howlin' Rain makes me think of this scenario.  It could possibly be cause it IS a concept album about a young man who sleeps with a stuffed cat till he is 23, but I'm not sure.

Mansion Songs makes me so angry I can't even think straight.  I am literally typing out of rage right now.  I just broke a glass on the floor. god damn it! Howlin' Rain's vocals style sounds like it's straight from the mouth of some piece of euro-trash 90s rapist mouth breather masquerading as a southern recluse. 

The record starts off showcasing Millers brain numbing acapella vocals.  Holy shit, the lyrics are so trite and ridiculous....... Ok i'll stop.  The song slowly and painfully transitions into a song you'd hear on the jukebox at a truck stop in the back woods of Georgia.

Ok after listening to the first song, I'm done with it.  I'm going ignorant on this, people.  Get it or don't I don't care.  I classify this "NEW" music as indie jizz.