I hate emails. just stop it. But I gotta deal with them. Just deal with it, man. So, this Becka is peddling is some straight up played out horse crap. She sends me this email, right? She asks me to write about the show, right? so, I go and listen to the music, right? The music is some middle class white chick playing acoustic guitar (that she got for x-mas) singing about love love love--real fucking original. It's really trite and unoriginal and, well, bad! It's like you took a large log, hollowed it out, filled it with boiling hot pitch then dipped your nuts or tits in it.
Lyrics : bad
Guitar : bad
song structure : bad
recording style : bad
Anyway... the following is just an email I got from someone named Beka, asking me to promote the shitty band she's representing. But guess what, I'm blocking out the details just to be a dick. I also commented when i could.
my [MR: can't even capitalize the first letter of the sentence? Real professional Bekka] name is Becca Simas and I represent Boston based folk/punk [MR: punk my ass] singer songwriter Anastasia Markov.
Anastasia is a rising force on the Boston music scene [MR: I don't believe that] but [MR: don't you mean and?] is returning to ██ where she was born and raised [MR: almost as cliche as the music] for a show this summer on ██████████████████████. I was wondering if you could post a show announcement on your publication to raise awareness [MR: awareness?] for the event. She hasn't played a show in ██ in almost six months [MR: omg omg omg] despite it being the place where she fell in love with performing [MR: I thought she was 'born and raised'], so she's expecting a pretty impressive turnout [MR: So why are you bothering me?] for the show.
Please refer to her website for a bio, links to music, videos, and recent press.
I'm also trying to book interviews and private concerts [MR: private concerts? WTF does that mean? Are you coming to my appt?] leading up to the show as well as just the show announcements. If you're interested in something like this, please get back to me. [MR: i think i'll just reply with 'done']
Additionally, here is a link to the facebook event for the show set up through her music facebook fan page. [MR: this email is going on forEVER] I've also attached a picture [MR: taken using instagram, obviously] I'd like you to use [MR; Oh you'd like me to use, huh? Forget it i wont use either! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO] for the publication and the show flier. If you need any additional information [MR: Think i've got enough], please let me know [MR: no.].
Thank you for your time, I hope to hear from you soon.